Recipe for Any Android Phone Review Ever

Unlike Apple’s once-a-year release cycle with the iPhone, Android OEMs and carriers have gone crazy, releasing as many new phones as possible, as quickly as possible.

As a result, there are a ton of Android phone reviews written. I want to make it easier for tech writers, so I’ve created a list — a recipe, if you will — to help make this easier.

  • The screen is better, brighter and bigger than on previous devices.
  • It’s thin, but not iPhone-thin.
  • The OEM’s Android skin isn’t awesome, but in some places, it could be.
  • The new launcher comes with lots of widgets that do things.
  • 4G is cool, unless you like battery life. But damn, those 28 seconds of browsing are fast!
  • The camera software still sucks. Also, FRONT-FACING CAMERA! Note: This can be swapped for “3-D!!!!” if the review requires it.
  • While Android is open, there’s lots of crapware on this phone. Hello, VZContact Manager FREE!
  • This may be the best Android phone yet, but if not, just wait a week or two.
  • The current version of Android lacks some polish, but the next version of Android will be the one to have, we promise. It’s going to rival iOS. Granted, this phone probably won’t ever get to run it.